Sunday, June 15, 2014

All the girls I've cast outside are all the girls I have inside

Unlovely girl. You barged into my life without ever being invited. I played it nice and you took advantage. I took you out of my heart and you insisted on coming back in. You are the descendant to my ascendant and my ruler cusps the seventh house. I win. I integrated my shadow. I don't need you. You have my scrubs and scraps, now leave and never come back!

Big Redhead girl. You're too Capricorn for me. You insult parts of me constantly. And do things obnoxiously wrong. Explaining to myself how and why everything you do is so wrong took too much of my time. I can't stay mad at you for long, though. I like to toy with your expectations when I'm drunk. If we ever cross bar-hopping paths, we can talk.

Alluring girl. I asked you to stop being self-deprecating in front of me and you took offense. You were bothered by my privately displayed sincerity. I was bothered by your publicly displayed sincerity. We have different understandings of what friendship means. And for that I am sorry.

Sphere girl. I don't know you personally and yet you manage to do so many of the things I want to do. I keep myself hidden from you so that you can never do what I want and I can never want what you do. Don't take offense. It's best that way.